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Writing Great Headlines: Don’t Overpromise

November 6th, 2006 by Mike Reining Read more about Headlines

Here is a test of two head­lines that I just wanted to share with you.  One head­line was more sub­tle and the other one was a bit more aggres­sive.  It turns out that for the tar­get audi­ence of our client the sub­tle head­line far out­sold the more aggres­sive head­line.  What was the difference?

Take a look:

Win­ning headline:

Los­ing headline:

The results:

Sign-up rate of win­ning head­line: 16.22% (641 visitors)

Sign-up rate of los­ing head­line: 13.15% (502 visitors)

Gain = 23%

The only dif­fer­ence between the two head­lines was that in one sub-headline we added the words “Start­ing Today.”  That’s it!  How­ever, that alone dropped the sign-up rate from 16% to 13%!  So, the next time you write a head­line, be cau­tious and don’t be too pushy, and the results may sur­prise you.

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About the Author

Mike Reining Prior to MindValley Media, Mike was the Head of New Ventures Strategy at eBay where he conceived of the strategies that led to the investment in Craigslist, the launch of Kijiji.com and the acquisition of Skype. Mike has an MBA from Stanford and previously worked for the Boston Consulting Group. He is also a certified Google AdWords Professional.

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2 Responses to “Writing Great Headlines: Don’t Overpromise”

  1. Ohad Gliksman

    I think it all depends on the cur­rent prod­uct offer­ing. some prod­ucts could actu­ally ben­e­fit from a head­line titled “start­ing today”

  2. Stuart

    I won­der if ‘start­ing today’ may give read­ers the idea that this is going to be an ongo­ing and pos­si­bly quite long process while the other head­line doesn’t imply a time frame at all.

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